
I adore my iPhone. I love the way it sounds when I type very important emails about happy hours and shoe sales. I crave the cheerful, glowing "go to yoga class" reminders it gives me every day, even though I never go. I'll forever be grateful to Google Maps for iPhone. If I stood on a street corner in Adams Morgan with a giant map, I'd look confused, lost and lame. When I stand on a street corner in Adams Morgan with my iPhone, though, I look cool and important. I love sitting in a café with my latte, Macbook, artsy novel and my iPhone, of course, which completes the yuppie outing.
But my credit card bills are out of control and the iPhone needs to go.
I signed up with a new phone company today that will cover the cost of my early termination fee from AT&T. I'm switching from my lovely, delicious, sleek iPhone to a hideous, white slider phone an awkward 8th grader would use and cover with stickers. Thrilling. The good news is that I won't be confused anymore about which phone is mine when I'm out with friends because my gross phone will stand out in the sea of iPhones on our table. Phew.
If I have problems with the new phone, I'll be sure to call my grandmother for help because my friends won't have any idea how to work my neanderthal device.
Oh, did I mention the new phone has an alarm clock?